Stress.

4 days after the crash of my first PC, my 2nd new one crashed.
I don't know why this keeps happening to me.
I don't know what to do, if I should even bother to keep going.
Not like this week is the best for concentrating anyway.
My BF [whose lack of communication is destroying my sanity] is supposed to be moving out of a very bad place...to my mother's house. But he has no idea when he's leaving. I know even less than he does, and it's kinda all I can think about.
I want his freedom more than I wanted my own.
Supposedly, he should be moved out by the 20th.
My cousin's wedding [+ gathering of family members who clearly hate me] is the week after.
I would give anything for him to be able to go with me...
I can't face them alone.
But I...just...don't...know.
And I'm sick of taking breaks. I need something new to keep me working.

Mixed emotions.

Happy = Got my trailer done, on youtube/simstube and figured out the female cast.
Frustrated = Computer not working right, again. I don't know what's wrong with it =(
Lonely = I'm unemployed, out of school, and living alone. What do you expect? Eh.

The things that happen when Sims have free will.

Starting this project...shooting the trailer...has not been easy.
I forgot to turn off Free Will while I was decorating one of my houses.
[The Haunted House, for those of you who know the GD world.]
So while I was hanging up pictures in the freaky purple room,
a stray cat wandered into the yard.
Tak wanted to keep the kitty...but it was old...and it died.
He became so inconsolable, I just had to take him
to the Sims pet store and get another one.
Now Tak is the loving owner of a Tonkinese named Danny.
Originally named for my first male voice actor and best friend.
...but it's a girl. Oops. Ideas for a new name, anyone?
I can't let this cute little thing go. It won't get in the way of my shooting =)
After decorating a room for the accidental kitty...
I will fix free will...put it to where it was supposed to be.
But this was too funny.

Funny how that happened.

Neither my cable or internet worked all weekend.
Know why? [Of course you don't, heh.]
So. My ex-coworker/best friend/something so much cooler came to stay with me Friday-Today.
Late at night, we decided we wanted to eat Jello.
I forgot where I'd stashed my spoons.
So, we were sucking the Jello out of the cups...
and as clumsy as I am, I tripped and spilled Jello all over my modem.
We tried to pick up the chunks but too late.
I had to get a new modem.
But I have my internet back now, in exchange for my friend, I guess.
He's gone now =(
And I'm getting back to "work."

*Stares in amazement...*

It's been one month since I've been living on my own.
And I spent the last week at my mother's house.
My laptop crashed, and transferring files from there somehow infected my desktop.
I had to get them both cleaned out...
Now everything is fine, but I really wish I could be farther along on the project by now.
All my music is gone too. That collection took awhile to download.
On the upside, I got a new expansion pack [Open For Business],
and my laptop runs much faster. It's not hating me so much now.
Hopefully by tomorrow all of my buildings will be re-decorated and occupied...
and then I can take another weekend break with my best friend who I don't see as much as I'd like.
He [yes, he] ...[get your mind out of the gutter, we're not like that]...is spending the whole weekend at my apartment and I am insanely excited. On the inside.
On the outside, I look like I'm ready to bang my head against the wall.
Better get to bed before I can do that.

Bad things happen in threes.

My game crashed again. One more time, I'm back to rebuilding everything from scratch. Characters, sets, EVERYTHING. If I had a normal social life, I'd quit, but I don't.
I can go for days without hearing another human voice.
I'm afraid to go out in town without hearing people talk about how crazy I am, or used to be.
I'm so depressed all the time, but no one is ever here.
Either they're scared of me, or aren't allowed to visit.
Fake people are all I can find right now.
I need them.

Surprises.

A guy friend of mine wants to help me with my project.
He wants to voice a girl.
Interesting.
But I really, really need guy parts.
What to do...
Take another weekend break.
I'm going home tomorrow.

Frostwire hates me.

I think I downloaded something wrong. So. Whatever music that will appear in the movie will have to come from my collection of burned CD's. There's a lot of them...some dating back to 8th grade. Actually, digging through them might be kinda fun!

Hopefully.

Whether I have to have *shudder* subtitles or not, I'd like to have Chapter 1 on Youtube by the end of the month.

**edit** Since I learned Sims 3 isn't coming out until June [YAY!] I have more time.

Good things and bad things.

Sweet. My video view count has reached the 300 mark!!
I'm happy people are finally getting interested in something I'm creating.
My dad thinks it's all a waste of time,
my mother is beyond confused,
and my friends...probably agree with my dad.
But I'm having fun!
Still...the school building crashed today. For the 3rd time.
So I rebuilt half of it, then came home again before I could get too stressed out.
...It's so nice out, for a Minnesota winter.
I should go for a walk.

Okayyy.

I go to my mother's house for a break from the computer, and where do I end up? Here. Yep.
I'm surprised with how far my youtube video has gone in just a day.
[I had some help advertising, though!]
People seem hesitant about sending in voice auditions,
but I'm not going to turn anyone down! If possible.
Just like I wouldn't want anyone to turn me down.
I'm purely...amazed...right now...
but pessimistic little me always has to be looking for where things could go wrong.
Yeah. Maybe I need a longer break. Maybe I'll stay here until Saturday.
Eat some junk food, see some friends, try to relax.
Then back to "work"? ...Heh. I'd really like a real job.

Just feel like ranting.

I'm about halfway done with the first episode.
How cool is that?
But Youtubers only seem to be interested in the Sims equivalent of Hollywood movies.
Girl + Guy = Happy ending and lots of making out. Maybe throw a baby in there.
I wonder, if things go right and I get into a good college for film production...
my live-action movies would be forgotten too?
I like books that are unpredictable,
so therefore I would want to create movies with twists.
Real life isn't perfect.
Yeah. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Monday. Enough said.

Since my game crashed and I had to re-create EVERYTHING [characters, buildings, etc...at least my script is printed]...people seem to have lost interest in The Sims. A few weeks ago, everyone seemed excited to do voice auditions...I hope this project doesn't flop because I worked so hard making everything work again. I worked my butt off advertising but apparently that isn't enough? I should have found this hobby a couple years ago so I could say I was one of the originals...but I'm not. However, I do have an idea nobody's attempted before.
I knew I wanted to re-enact a book. At first I thought...Twilight...but it's been done so many times by some really talented people. I'd have to "beat out the competition" or be bashed. So...it's not worth it. It's better being the first at doing something.

...*randomness* I rescued an abandoned teddy bear from a cold, forgotten death today. heh, heh. It's my favorite color. I saw it laying on the ground and asked my mother if I could take it home. See what happens when I live in an apartment that doesn't allow pets? XD